Sunday, April 6, 2008

New Day #101

Posted on Craig's List for the first time. No, not the personals, though I must confess I read them for entertainment. (Personal favorite: "Need a ride to work. Will give blow-job.") Still, I'm embarrassed I've never used the site before. What a sheltered creature I am. How many others things have I never done because they seem insurmountable, when in fact they're super easy?

Anyway, I'm giving away these handsome Ernie and Bert shampoo and conditioner holders, which I've held onto out of sentimental value. When my partner and I couldn’t make it to my friend Lisa's wedding, Ernie and Bert attended in proxy. As cute as they are, I don’t go to the trouble of refilling them, so I thought it was best to find someplace where they’ll be appreciated.

So I'm holding a contest. Whoever provides the reason why you should be the owner of these sacred vessels gets them for free. As a courtesy to my readers, you may post your reasons here in the comment section.

In an odd bit of serendipity, someone else in Portland posted they were getting rid of their Ernie collection just minutes before.


MamaMia said...

You're getting rid of Bert and Ernie!!!!? Why not just give away the family silver? And Great Grandma's wedding ring? And Uncle Guido's prized accordian? Sure they are useless dust collectors, but that's what we Americans do - we collect things because we CAN! Since you are not going to pass these treasured heirlooms on to the godchildren, it is good you are at least making sure they go to a good home. Besides, kids today prefer cash anyway.

Anonymous said...

ERNIE: Hey Bert, take that banana out of your ear! Marc's getting rid of us!

BERT: Whaaaat?!

ERNIE: I said Marc's tossing us out like yesterday's news!

BERT: What?! Speak up Ernie!

ERNIE: Bert! Marc ain't got that lovin' feelin for us no mores.

BERT: For the love of pigeons Ernie, I can't hear you! I have a banana in my ear!

(Ernie sighs and shakes head)

kskater89 said...

Again, giving away Bert and Ernie? How could you?!?!? Anyway. They're yours, so it's your decision. But they are really cute. So I hope they go to someone who will love them.

gay CME guy said...

I'm tempted to play the 'dead dog card', but I won't. Just make sure you appropriately screen and interview the new adoptive family before relinquishing custody.

Derek T. Pickens said...

Hey Marc!

As the new father of Bert and Ernie, I would make a new "event" on my blog where my readers would get a picture a week of Bert and Ernie doing something wild and crazy! They would also be periodic guest stars on my video blog :^)


kskater89 said...

It must be a different show, because I'm pretty sure there is no Disney on Ice Aladdin on Ice. But there's Princess Wishes and Princess Classics. Could it be one of those.

Joyous said...

I would like Bert and Ernie because my real life Bert and Ernie (Hotrod and The Boyfriend) moved out a year ago. These little guys would look so cute in their old bathroom.

Debbi said...

I don't think that is where Berts banana is. His ear I mean. Rubber ducky my ass.
Poor Ernie having to find a new place to live after all these years. At least he will still be living with Bert. How long have they been together? at least going on 30 years I would guess.

David said...

I'm mildly disturbed that Ernie and Bert apparently bath fully dressed. Then again, figurines of them naked might be even more disturbing. I hope you find a good home for them.

Kelli N. said...

I am not worthy of Bert and Ernie, but they are very cute. Here's hoping they find much happiness in their new home!

Anonymous said...

I should have taken poor Bert and Ernie when I was at your last party. I could have had the stripper or the porn star take them and save them from being unwanted. So what you need something bigger, in your shower? Maybe I should trade the naked photo I have of you. (not much to see) LOL, ya photo is even smaller the Bert or Ernie.

After all I know get more naked men in my shower. Bert and Ernie would be very happy. Not that yours gets no action. My shower has clear glass with lots of light