That's Doctor Acito to you

A few weeks ago I returned to my alma mater, Colorado College, to receive an honorary doctorate. I'll be honest (what does that phrase mean? That I'm usually full of shit?), the honor weirded me out. I mean, I'm currently underemployed and hustling to figure out how to stay in the game, yet I'm worthy of a doctorate? Aren't those given as the academic equivalent of the lifetime achievement award? But of course I went, musing at yet another sympton of my bi-polar career: in some situations I'm a rock star, other times it's like "Marc who?"

As with most things, my anxiety laid to rest once I got there. What I didn't know is the CC gives out doctorates every year at Freshman Convocation to distinguished alumni in mid-career "as examples of what students can aspire to when they graduate." And I was one of three, including Krista Smith, the west coast editor of Vanity Fair who, among other responsibilities, throws the VF Oscar party, and T.J. Cole, a juvenile and family court judge in Boulder who already has four actual degrees.



But it was yours doctorally who gave the keynote address, which I was really proud of until I listened to it here. You see, I've been making an effort to concentrate on breathing in a calm, yogafied manner. What I didn't realize was how much I was making truly noisy nasal inhalations. I sound like I'm snorting cocaine. Which is maybe why the kids liked it so much.

New Day #223

First, an update. Was relieved when the thunderstorm quickly passed, as thunderstorms are wont to do in the Colorado Rockies. So my one-man theatrical extravaganza, Marco! The Musical, got a paying audience of over 200, many of whom seemed roughly that age. Which is a total kick because I love old people who appreciate dirty jokes.

But there were still some younger people of the Facebook/MySpace variety, including Ben and Kari, a couple who informed me that my last show in Colorado three years ago had been their first date. Kari explained that Ben lived in the same apartment complex and that she invited him to join her to see "this guy who writes about musicals."

"I love musicals," he said.

"Great," she thought. "He's gay."

Turned out he wasn't and they fell in love while reading How I Paid for College out loud to each other. Now they're married.

Once I regained my ability to form sentences, I informed them they have to name their first born Marc.

As new as all that was, it didn't count toward today's New Thing. Since Floyd and I have both been light-headed from the altitude (Colorado Springs is a mile high), we've wanted nothing but greasy food. So I ate a buffalo burger, which tasted pretty much like a regular burger. It also looked like a regular burger, so I took a picture of the smiley face the restaurant put in my tomato bisque soup with olive oil.

| | | ma

New Day #221

Brought my computer in to be repaired while I'm in Colorado this week for a gig at Colorado College, my alma mater.

The technician totally blew my mind when he showed me how to open the face of my keyboard, then flipped my laptop over and removed my battery using a quarter. I KNOW! A quarter! I couldn't friggin' believe it. He might as well have pulled his lips over his head.