Thursday, December 13, 2007

Holiday Newsletter

Here's this year's holiday newsletter:

December 2007

Maybe it’s because we’ve lived in the People’s Republic of Portland for so long. This year we accomplished the ultimate in sustainable living—we recycled an entire year.

Truly, there’s nothing new to report. Which isn’t to say we haven’t been busy. As usual, Floyd flew about town as a culture vulture, giving over fifty tours at the Portland Art Museum, serving on the board of Live Wire! Radio, treading the boards at Portland Opera (who can forget his artful interpretations of a near-naked soldier in Norma, the dying dragon in The Magic Flute, and a dead sailor in The Flying Dutchman?) and continuing to write his column in Just Out, which included interviews where he got a kiss from author Michael Cunningham and had a good cry with composer Jerry Herman.

Perhaps the reason he could do so much was that he slept so little worrying over the rapid downturn in the real estate market. Suffice it to say it’s not the kind of news someone with a fifty-eight unit building on the market wants to hear about.

Meanwhile, I returned to familiar territory by completing the sequel to How I Paid for College, which is called Attack of the Theater People. (Due out April 15th; see the newly redesigned website for details.) I occasionally emerged from hibernation to teach writing workshops, record commentaries for NPR’s All Things Considered, and continue my life-long trend of yo-yo dieting. This year I'm feeling up because I'm down thirty pounds, making me one hundred and fifty one pounds of fun. For those of you keeping track over the last twenty-five years, I have now gained and lost my entire body weight twice.

The only new news for me was the arrival in Portland of my mom, who now lives close enough for us to hang out and do numerology together.

We may be winning the battle over middle age spread, but the march of time still shows. (You know you’re getting older when your dog develops a heart murmur.) At a recent holiday party, Floyd pointed me out to another guest and the guy responded, “You mean the gray-haired guy?” At this point, I'm just grateful to have any hair, which is why our motto for next year is:



B-Wats said...

can i use your motto? it's way better than my other choices:

"immigrate in 2008"
"masturbate in 2008"
"lactate in 2008"
"they're grrrrreat in 2008"
"find a mate in 2008"
"jail-bait in 2008"

writermama said...

Oh, I don't like you very much right now.

You should never tell a five-foot-two , formerly average weight person, who spent the last two years sitting on her caboose while it got bigger, that you now weigh less than her.


But I suppose I'll keep reading anyway, especially since I started an exercise program as one of my resolutions.


Marc Acito said...

Dang. You are funny. Love the mottoes B-Wats. If I weren't a pseudo-semi-public figure, I'd use one.