New Day #81

Knowing very little about sports in general, and basketball in specific, I can easily get through March without experiencing any madness at all. But now, thanks to my friend Whitey, sports columnist for the Oregonian, I have taken part in my very first tournament pool.

Inspired by all those athletes who thank God for their win, I’ve only chosen religious schools.

In fact, I chose many of my NCAA picks from the NCCAA, the National Catholic College Admission Association, as well as the other NCCAA, the National Christian College Athletic Association.

In contests where there was no religious school, I tried to pick one with some spiritual cred. For instance, given a choice of four secular universities, I chose Butler, because it was the alma mater of Kool-Aid drinking cult leader Jim Jones.

And when two religious schools went head-to-head, I chose the one with the obvious theological advantage. So Notre Dame will beat St. Joseph’s because the Virgin Mary is way more important than Joseph.

Duh.

In the case of Baylor versus Brigham Young, I went with Brigham Young because he was a prophet, while Baylor was just a district judge.

So here are my predictions for the NCAA semi-finals:

Notre Dame beats Georgetown, no contest
Brigham Young kicks Oral Roberts’ ass

Naturally, the winner will be Notre Dame, because there's nothin' like our dame. And Jesus was a total mama’s boy.