"IT AIN'T OVER 'TIL IT'S OVER."
The challenges in my career have got me re-assessing a lot about myself lately. Last night my dead mentor from college even came to me in a dream, which is only the second time that's happened. The first time he had aged. When I asked him how that was possible, he said he loved life so much he just kept going. Last night, however, he was withered and tired, feeling defeated and wondering whether his life had had any impact.
I told him how his students still feel about him--how he opened our eyes to ideas that had been hiding in plain sight, how he taught us how to see.
As I struggle to get my head around the incremental progress I make toward my dreams, it was an apt reminder. One of the reasons I write is to make sense of a random, chaotic world. Creating stories creates order. But all too often I misuse my creativity to figure out my own life story, worrying that any discouraging signs mean it won't end well. And I have to remind myself that I'm building this life boat while I'm at sea.
So, yes, I'm frustrated my books have not reached the wide audience I believe is out there for them. But it ain't over 'til it's over.
And, if my dream is any indication, maybe not even then.