Friday, March 20, 2009

New Thing #379

Neil Simon wrote: "Words with a 'k' in it are funny. Alka Seltzer is funny. Chicken is funny. Pickle is funny. All with a 'k'. 'L's are not funny. 'M's are not funny."

It was with this thought in mind that I ate my first kumquat, the silliest-sounding fruit since Liberace. You eat it with the skin on, which wasn't so strange, but it's sour, which is.

I recognize this isn't the most groundbreaking of New Things, so I figured I better throw in another of equally insubstantial value. You see, while my mid-life crisis has abated, my gray hair has remained. You can't tell from these pics, but I discovered that one of the downsides the recruit haircut has been the discovery that my gray grows in blotches, like crop circles. That, combined with the remaining gold dust from bleaching has made for a patchy chemotherapy chic, so I decided to unify things by dying it all.

I know, some of you will argue that I've already bleached my hair as a New Thing, but I'd like to clarify that bleaching is removing color, dying is adding. For starters, I was advised to tape my hairline so I don't stain my skin.

That was fun.

So here's the latest for the Hair Museum, which is at least three dos out of date.


PS Thanks, TimMcNichol, for both the kumquat and telling me my hair looked weird.

8 comments:

the bud cracked said...

careful with that dye now it's a slippery slope..it's like "the crack", it can be addictive i've seen it happen to good friends..

Kevin in Danbury said...

Now it seems no matter what you do to your hair You still look DAMN SEXY!

Fantastic Forrest said...

Kumquat is double funny because it has two k sounds. Plus it ends like "squat" which is a ridiculous word.

I think hair in patterns of color are very fun. I once saw a kid who had a buzz cut that was dyed like a leopard design. This is not a joke. But I hesitate to tell you because you may try it and further damage your poor hair...

Kate said...

When I was in junior high school and mean I would call my mother "snowcone head". She was in her forties and like you had a splotchy natural hair color. It was white in the front, gray in on top, and brown in the back. Just like a tri-colored snowcone.

Kevin Moore said...

All due respect to Mr. Simon, but "Man from La Mancha" is a pretty funny sounding title. Of course, the "cha" is the punchline. How about "Man from Mars!" or "Little Green Men!" Or "ramma lamma ding dong!"

viejecita said...

I hope your beautiful greying wavy hair grows soon again, and that you realise it is one of your great assets.
Your legs are really good too, ok, but you can´
t show your legs off all the time, whereas your hair...

And please, put more photos, so that we can see it grow.

Caitlin_so_Rocks said...

I'm highly amused by the fact that you just had a kumquat because I too had my first one yesterday and was surprised by the tartness. I've been passive aggressively searching for them since they were in season in November and yesterday was the first store I went into where they didn't think I'd made up a fruit. I was also surprised by how small they are.

David said...

You're....standing....in....my.....kumquats!

Sorry!!