Tuesday, September 16, 2008

New Day #264

Summer is winding down, but it's still hot so my friend Tim McNichol and I went over to my mom's apartment complex to take a swim. It was only as I was stepping into the pool, however, that I noticed I was wearing my trunks inside out, which explained why I had a hard time tying them.

Rather than put them on right side out, Tim McNichol suggested I make it today's New Thing.

No offense to the usually creative TM, but I thought it was pretty lame as New Things go. Still, I've learned to go with these things, as one never knows what might happen.

And here's the thing--while they did fit a little looser, what with the pockets laying funny against my skin, I noticed when I got out of the pool that they didn't do that vacuum pack suction thing that trunks do against your nuts.

How could this be? Why hasn't a swimsuit company capitalized on this solution to the age-old problem of showing off your junk at a moment when it's least impressive? I mean, they spent all that money to make those new Olympic suits to make Michael Phelps move like Aquaman.


Of course, those just showed off his junk, too.

2 comments:

therese patrick, author said...

The boys in my life like the ballooning effect of air trapped in their trunks and the bubble burps they create.
Not noticing you were wearing them inside out means you are a bit distracted. :)

Anonymous said...

I've read some analysis on Michael Phelp's body and why it makes him swim so well. Your photo proves it. He has loooong arms. short legs and big feet. He's more a whale than am man in that sense. This skin tight suit, although a probable eye pleaser to gay men, does nothing to change the anitomical facts.