Summer is winding down, but it's still hot so my friend Tim McNichol and I went over to my mom's apartment complex to take a swim. It was only as I was stepping into the pool, however, that I noticed I was wearing my trunks inside out, which explained why I had a hard time tying them.
Rather than put them on right side out, Tim McNichol suggested I make it today's New Thing.
No offense to the usually creative TM, but I thought it was pretty lame as New Things go. Still, I've learned to go with these things, as one never knows what might happen.
And here's the thing--while they did fit a little looser, what with the pockets laying funny against my skin, I noticed when I got out of the pool that they didn't do that vacuum pack suction thing that trunks do against your nuts.
How could this be? Why hasn't a swimsuit company capitalized on this solution to the age-old problem of showing off your junk at a moment when it's least impressive? I mean, they spent all that money to make those new Olympic suits to make Michael Phelps move like Aquaman.
Of course, those just showed off his junk, too.