Today I was supposed to participate in the international Thrill the World event, but I haven't had time to practice. Instead, I took part in the 5th Annual West Coast Giant Pumpkin Regatta on Tualatin Commons, which required no preparation.
I mean, as I stepped into a hollowed out 800-pound pumpkin with a kayaking oar it occurred to me that I had no idea how to kayak and perhaps it would have been prudent to learn how to operate one before I tried piloting a vegetable. Luckily, someone was nice enough to tell me I had my oar upside down.
I was joined by Tim "Up-for-Anything" McNichol, who substituted for the Long-Suffering Floyd, who was home suffering with a cold. Tim's goal was that he not come in last, a goal I'm sorry to report he did not meet, as he discovered too late that his oar was too short for his pumpkin, pumpkin kayaking being a very inexact pastime.
I, on the other hand, managed to come in 6th out of 15, partly because I moved the buoys on the course when I couldn't maneuver around them.
What can I say? You can take the boy out of Jersey, but you can't take the Jersey out of the boy. Even if you put him in a pumpkin.