Center Stage at Portland Center Stage (and the Portland Art Museum)

Portland Center Stage Artistic Director Chris Coleman ain't fiddlin' around in his performance in Michael Hollinger's Opus, in which he plays the first violinist in a fractious string quartet.
I've known Chris for ten years. He directed the workshop of my play Birds of a Feather at PCS's JAW Playwrights Festival. We've hung out, gone to the beach. He even once heckled me while I was raising $20,000 for the theater, so he's damn lucky I didn't return the favor on his opening night.

Seeing him act for the first time was a revelation. First off, there was the immense relief that he didn't suck. Quite the opposite, he was fantastic--real, exposed, raw. It was a particularly brave performance for a public figure because the character can be such a jerk.

I'm immensely proud of him and look forward to seeing how it affects his directing of both plays and the theater itself. According to his blog, it's already given him new insights into both.

Working on more than one side of any equation really helps your understanding of your own discipline. Like Chris, I'm a product of the Carnegie-Mellon theater program, where studying acting and directing really informed my career as a writer. Being an opera singer gave me an education in 400 years of western history. And I know I'm a better writer because I teach.

That said, I seldom take center stage. I'd much rather write a musical than be in one. But I will tread the boards this Friday night for my last public appearance in Portland before moving to New York. I'm the emcee of Objectivity, a game show produced by my partner the Long-Suffering Floyd, to promote Object Stories, an innovative installation created PAM's education director Tina Olsen, in which regular people (and irregular, I suppose) bring their personal objects to the museum and record a commentary about them.

Here's the deeply moving one Floyd did, of which I could not be prouder, and not just because it makes me sound like a helluva guy.

Objectivity is one-night only this Friday. Admission to the museum is free, so seating will be limited. I'll be joined by a panel of Portland luminaries, including NY Times bestselling author Chelsea Cain, Mayor Sam Adams, Oregon Ballet Theatre's Christopher Stowell, Daria O'Neil Eliuk of The Buzz and Helen Raptis of AM Northwest.

Here's our groovy game show music, as performed by Gwen Verdon to the Bob Fosse choreography that inspired Beyonce's "Single Ladies."

Jeez, could I drop any more names?

New Day #281

Over the years I've experimented a great deal with hair, both on my head and my face. But there's one thing I've never tried:

The moustache.

I suppose it's because by the time I could grow one (say, 1983) they had gone out of style. And have yet to return.

But when I announced my intentions last week on my regular Friday at 5:30 gig on The Buzz, Daria, who is from Montana (or Wyoming, or one of those states where you can drive really fast) gave me very specific instructions as to how I should dress to accompany my 'stache:

Cowboy hat
No shirt
Suspenders
Torn jeans
Cowboy boots

Well, little lady, this here's for you.

New Day #253

One of the great joys of this project has been the opportunity to share it every Friday at 5:30 PM on 105.1 The Buzz with the deft comic minds of Daria, Mitch and Ted. They are as much fun as is possible without Cool Whip and a harness.

Seriously, they have the kind of talent that makes me want to be better.

What's more, Daria knows her cosmetics, so I felt certain she was the person to whom I should turn for help in applying what Mitch calls "man-scara."

Having been a professional opera singer, I have a working knowledge of stage make-up, but have never worn it out in the world.

As such, it seemed way too subtle to me, but I loved it nonetheless. Add this to the list of New Things I'll continue to do.

New Day #208

So I've been stopping in at 105.1 fm The Buzz every Friday at 5:30 to gab about this project. Last week, Daria, the show's buxom, brainy hostess, handed me a bottle of pink liquid, commanding me to "drink it."

No, it wasn't Pepto Bismol, though some people have accused me of being full of shit.

Turns out it was something called Vitamin Water, which instantly filled me with apprehension and fear. I like to think of myself as a try-anything kind of guy, but sampling new foods makes me really nervous. Seriously, I was less scared eating fire. For starters, fire doesn’t have any empty calories.

And for a middle-aged gay man, nothing is scarier than empty calories.

Which is why it took me a four whole days to finally try the stuff. I mean, what if it tasted bad? Or what if tasted good and I became addicted and drank it every day until I gained back the sixty pounds I lost—repeatedly?

So I decided first to examine the label. But where the ingredients should be was just a mini-bio of “multi-platinum kelly clarkson.” WTF??? What’s kelly clarkson doing on my Vitamin Water? And why isn’t her name capitalized?

I looked at the other side of the bottle and discovered Vitamin Water contains “vapor distilled deionized and/or reverse osmosis water.”

And/or? What, they couldn’t decide? How can they get away with that? Are there a pair of workers at the bottling plant saying, “I don’t know. Which do you feel like? Vapor distilled deionized or reverse osmosis water.” / “I’m feeling generous today. Let’s do both.”

I then noticed that the second and third ingredients are cane sugar and crystalline fructose, which totally sound like drag queen names, so I figured it couldn’t be that bad. And the buxom, brainy Daria drinks it. As does kelly clarkson.

So I finally drank it. Two words: Kool Aid. New Age Kool Aid. Okay, that’s four words, but you get the idea.




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New Day #184

So I was on the Daria and Mitch Show on 105.1 The Buzz yesterday, talking about my out-of-control adventure ordering an orange slice in my club soda when I suddenly realized I'd never eaten a lemon or a lime.

So I did.

Suffice it to say there's a reason why I never have before.


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